Parenting: school years came out with an exhaustive list of lists and percentages about family issues and values. Their Tough Love (Jan., 2013, p.76) comments put me on alert.
54% insist kids finish an activity they start even if they don’t like it.
58% of kids have chores and a third of kids with chores don’t get an allowance for them.
57% of parents won’t deliver forgotten homework to school after the first offense.
87% say when their child suffers disappointment, they talk about it, but it’s a good lesson.
Somewhere in these figures is a balance. It’s all well and good to have kids follow through on their chosen activities, but we need to cut them some slack, just like we do for ourselves when we start something, lose interest and move on. When we work with and talk with our children, we set up mutual, reachable expectations. With time, kids become responsible for their chores and their homework. And, talking with your kids is imperative, not just when they suffer disappointment, but daily and for a variety of reasons.
If we gradually increase responsibility, they become independent and capable of handling themselves. We must remember through all these predicaments and percentages that choosing and rejecting activities helps them decide their interests, school is their ‘job’, chores are their way to be an active part of the family and disappointment is part of life. Our job is to support and guide them without taking over and doing their lives.